Gypsy Soul Confessions: I have unread emails

I have some electronic housekeeping to do, namely cleaning up my email inbox. I’ve fallen behind in reading, filing, or deleting all that mail. In the real world, mail is my biggest challenge to keeping things tidy. It just never stops coming! I haven’t won the battle with mail in real life, but I haven’t even made an attempt in the digital world. Once Yahoo and Google started offering unlimited free accounts I just skipped over all the junk mail and opened anything relevant, thinking I’d get that electronic junk cleared away when time allowed.

Well, that was 29,690 unread emails ago (at the time of this writing.) At some point I just stopped noticing.

Honestly, it was only when I got a new phone and changed carriers recently that I became self-conscious about it. It took a long time to transfer my apps to my new phone, and my mail wasn’t updating regularly. The youthful tech whiz who was helping me said “Well, you have twenty nine thousand unread emails.”

Oh… doesn’t everybody?

Maybe not.

In my defense, I don’t believe that guy has even lived long enough to have received twenty nine thousand emails– I’ve had that yahoo address for many years!

I didn’t think much more about it until the next time I went in (for an unrelated hardware problem.) I introduced myself again and he said “Yeah I remember you– you’re the one with twenty nine thousand unread emails.”

Yep. That’s me.

While I’d prefer to be remembered for some more charming aspect of my character, I’ll take what I can get. This time I began to wonder if I’d been the subject of break room amusement. (You know, like “Now I’ve seen it all- 29,000 unread emails! Why do I always get the crackpot customers?”)

That’s okay, I thought, I used to own a business. I know the entertainment value of a ridiculous customer story– you have to find some fun during a long workday. No harm done. Besides, I think I just discovered my Rapper name, should I ever try for a career in music: 29K. It fits me, don’t you think?

In the three dimensional world at home, letting junk mail pile up eventually means I won’t have a clear table to eat off of. In the computer world I can keep piling it up indefinitely.

And so I have.

If any of you are feeling a teensy bit superior right now, you’re welcome! This is all part of what I do to help others feel better about themselves 😉

I could add “Delete 28.5 thousand emails” to my “To-Do” list, but I’ll be the first to admit I never make it to the bottom of my “To-Do” list. I tend to work from most urgent to least urgent– only a new most urgent just appeared on the list. So the lower priority tasks rarely get done.

Do I need an intervention? Should there be a “Hoarders” type tv show for this sort of extreme electronic rubbish pile? Should I at least be ashamed of my lack of virtual housekeeping?

I guess I am ashamed, but not so much that I can’t air my dirty (virtual) laundry. In my dreams there’s still hope for me to achieve Martha Stewart-esque organizing capabilities (preferably without any accompanying prison time.) But in my heart I know it’s never going to happen. So I guess I’ll keep trying to get better little by little.

This could be one more thing I now feel obligated to add to my lengthy list of chores; to block in on my calendar (for any of you who read that post- haha!) Honestly, I’m a little bothered by the amount of electronic trash that’s piling up, and I think I should do my part to get rid of it. But if I start worrying about e-litter the way I worry about overflowing landfills or that giant continent of plastic grocery bags we’ve created out in the middle of the ocean I may have a nervous breakdown!

In the end I have to ask myself “Is this one more thing I’m supposed to beat myself up about, to feel inadequate for? Or can I rationalize my way out of feeling like that?”

And the answer is “Oh yes, I’ll bet I can find a way to excuse my inadequate performance. That is something I’m really good at!”

[Calculating…]

Okay, it goes like this:

I am a big believer that the real world wins out over the digital one. The store clerk standing in front of you deserves your attention for that moment more than a voice on the other end of a cell phone. Your child should hear you laugh out loud more than you write LOL to your social media circles (LOL.) And you should be experiencing real life more often than staring at a screen.

Except when you read this blog, of course.

Anyway, same goes for real junk mail over electronic junk mail. Cleaning up your real house comes first!

Then if any of you over-achievers have extra time on your hands you can clean up your Outlook inbox.

And then if you still have extra time on your hands, can you come clean out mine?