Throwback Thursday: Charlie’s Angels Edition

I used to feel like a loser if I was watching TV at lunchtime on a weekday. Especially when I was watching a channel that ran a lot of ads which began “If you’re on a structured settlement and want your money NOW” or “If you’ve been hurt in a car accident” or “If you need DNA testing to prove he’s the father…”

But during a pandemic, I’m not a loser, I’m a staying-at-home superhero! And if I choose to watch low-quality programming from the 1970’s and 80’s, I’m not even gonna apologize. It reminds me of my childhood, when television was terrible and everyone watched it anyway because we didn’t have better choices.

Except for books, of course.

Or actually having face-to-face conversations.

Oh, and even playing cards or board games was probably a better choice, if I’m being honest.

But anyhoo, at the time we thought TV was by far the best choice, so we watched it and we liked it! It’s the American Way. Vegging out on mind-numbing television while pushing our cholesterol to dangerously high levels is kinda our thing.

Yep… thinking about it takes me back to a time when the whole family shared one television and three networks. Plus PBS for the nerds. [Cue flashback sequence:]

The year was 1977 and the hottest show on TV was Charlie’s Angels. Sabrina, Kelly, and Jill were gorgeous private detectives whose boss was the mysterious disembodied voice called Charlie…

My favorite was Farrah Fawcett, a.k.a. Jill, who managed to look fabulous while pulling off amazing feats of crime-fighting. In one episode she held onto the back of a speeding car while on her skateboard so those bad guys wouldn’t get away. (I learned a lot of really practical tactics from watching her. Stuff my parents would love for me to attempt in real life!)

I was in 3rd grade, Mrs. Fincher’s class. Earlier that year I had won a months-long campaign to get my ears pierced. My strategy involved begging and pleading with my mom until I finally just wore her out. So I thought I was pretty grown-up. I even used an ink pen sometimes, although we were not allowed to use them in school until 4th grade.

I began my homage to Farrah by trying to simulate her signature hairstyle. Her long, frosted locks folded back in “wings” on both sides, which somehow remained intact through even the most strenuous crime-fighting. I would flip my long blonde hair upside-down and run a brush through it multiple times, then throw it back over my head in a dramatic gesture resulting, temporarily, in my elementary school version of Farrah hair. Without access to any Aqua-Net hair spray I could never retain the look for more than a few minutes.

I look back on 3rd grade and see it as an age when I was beginning to aspire to attain the trophies of womanhood, but the collateral damage of mean girls, emotional drama, and body-image shame had not yet dampened my enthusiasm. I was blissfully unaware of the rocky terrain ahead. We didn’t have much concern for what was “popular” or what friendships and behaviors were acceptable to our social standing. We made choices intuitively and wholeheartedly without second-guessing everything.

My two best friends were tow-headed Renee Prekup and dark haired Maria Tamez, and with me in my imagined Farrah tresses we formed our own little band of angels.

We’d begun carrying purses in an attempt to look mature, but they were in fact as unnecessary as our training bras. Suddenly they found a purpose: smuggling forbidden makeup to school. This contraband, scavenged from the Lost and Found, bought with saved allowance, or borrowed from big sisters, would be secretly passed to one another underneath the bathroom stalls in an act of subterfuge worthy of the Angels themselves. To avoid arousing suspicion from the bathroom monitor, we would quickly apply the frosty white lipgloss or blue eyeshadow without the aid of a mirror. Emerging from the school toilet feeling quite glamorous, I couldn’t wait to see the next episode of Charlie’s Angels. But of course I would have to wait–until next week.

Now, in the year 2020, we have access to so much engaging, well-written television at the touch of a button. We don’t even need a TV to watch it!

And I’m glad. I totally binged Tiger King along with everyone else, and every week I looked forward to the final episodes of Homeland. We recently watched a fascinating docuseries about Bill Gates. “Docuseries” wasn’t even a word in 1977! It’s definitely a better time to be quarantined for weeks on end.

But I’ve got to admit my guilty pleasure is watching a little Hart to Hart, Starsky & Hutch, Wonder Woman or Rockford Files with my husband on one of those free antenna TV channels.

Wanna confess yours?

Love,

Amy